Monthly Archives: October 2011

OOMAAAIGAWD!! I AM IN FINAL YEAR!! (Part One)

“The end is nigh.”

“This is the end. My only friend.”

Damn it!! Strike that out. Tear the sheet.

Burn it. Out!! Out, you foul, filthy, defiling stench of clichés.

I started writing this article thinking that I will write spectacularly and drown the reader in that sweet feeling of nostalgia without being cloying or nauseating, but the final product turned out to be a massive junk of clichés. Damn, even saying cliché is such a cliché.

Let me tell you, gentle reader the reason behind writing this article. It is almost mandatory for every final year chap with a functioning blog to write a post describing his time in the institute. I am no different. Like every other final year guy, I tend to picture myself as a wise grand old man handing out “wisdom” to juniors. In the first draft of this article, I delved deep into the waters of nostalgia and as I found out later much to my disappointment, they are not unchartered waters. Nostalgia is a sin every man has been committing since the birth of time(or is it the time of birth?). Hence, any new articles on nostalgia can be expressed as a linear combination of writings on nostalgia of the entire human population since the beginning of time.

So, to do justice to my engineering education, which I am afraid I may forget too soon, I have mathematically modeled Nostalgia:

{\bar{{\eta}}_{i}(t)=\int_{\tau=0}^{t}\sum_{j=1 j\neq i}^{N}{A}_{ij}\bar{{\eta}}_{j}(\tau){\delta }_{ij}d\tau + \bar{\epsilon}_{i}}

where,

  • \bar{{\eta}}_{i} represents the Nostalgia vector of a person i. 
  • It spans the Writing Space, {\Omega}^{f(\bar{{\eta}}_{i})} where f(\bar{{\eta}}_{i}) is a function which gives the number of elements in the vector \bar{{\eta}}_{i} .
  • It should be noted that the \bar{{\eta}}_{i} has been integrated over time to give the vector at the present time t, for nostalgia is a sin man has been committing since the birth of time.  😛
  • An assumption that I make is that while writing an article on nostalgia, the content will depend only on other articles which induce nostalgia.   I am neglecting other possible influences like Characteristic Writing Equation and other quirks out of it for the sake of simplicity.
  • The total population of the world is N.  Assuming that a person i has had finite time to go over articles written by the total world population, we would like to define a {\delta}_{ij}, which takes the value 1, if the person i has read the article written by j, 0 otherwise.  I call it Nostalgia-Delta function.
  • A person i is influenced to different extent by different people.  . This dynamics is captured by the matrix {A}_{ij}.  I do a summation over the entire population and integrate over time to get the nostalgia vector for person i.
  • The term \bar{{\epsilon}}_{i} signifies the error.  If I neglect model errors, I can assume that this term quantifies the originality of the article.

You may be wondering why I am writing this….this…for lack of a better word… mathematics taken from a mad hatter’s hat.   To satiate your curiosity, I would like to state my objective function.  I wanted this post to be different from those millions of other nostalgia-inducing-boring-inane-silly-stupid-posts on the web.  So my objective would be to:

max({\parallel \bar{{\epsilon}}_{i} \parallel}_{F})

where,

{\parallel A \parallel}_{F} denotes the Frobenius norm.

I hope I achieved my objective.  🙂

You didn’t read the equations, did you? What do you want me to say? You want to read that stinking cliched article, don’t you? Meh :-/ Fine. It will come.  Soon enough.

If there exists Gods, the most powerful ought to be the God of clichés.

PS:  Don’t call an ambulance and admit me to the hospital for being a cuckoo.  I just wanted to test this script called LaTeX2WP to convert documents from LaTeX to WordPress style.  It works fine.  🙂